THE EGGMAN EMPIRE Written by and starring Dr.Eggman Remember, go to http://dreggman.cjb.net, all you Eggman fans! __________________________ Chapter 7: "The Eggman Empire Buys Alotta Worthless Junk" I'm Dr.Eggman, the greatest scientiffic genius of the world! I just raised a billion dollars at my telethon! Now I'm going to use that money to buy supplies for my Empire. Muahahahaa! I pity anyone who would try to take on The Eggman Empire with these new weapons! I'm going to be unstopable! __________________________ Eggman: Mr.Salesman, I want the best weapons you have! Mr.Salesman: Okay, why don't you try the Instant Weapon? Only...uh...how much money did you say you had with you? Eggman: One billion dollars. Why? Mr.Salesman: Wow! What a coincidence! That's EXACTLY how much this costs! Eggman: Okay...well, what does it do? Mr.Salesman: Simple! It does...uhhh...stuff. Eggman: *thinks* I'LL BUY IT! *Later* Eggman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! How does this thing work?! Metal Sonic: *robot noise* Eggman: Oh, hi. Wait...didn't Minion Dude destroy you back in episode one? Metal Sonic: *robot noise* Eggman: Hmmm...no matter. This thing I spent all my money on appears to be worthless. So, go prepare for an attack! Call my best Badniks and meet me at Station Square! *Later* Scratch and Grounder: *nervous look* Eggman: Metal Sonic, you fool! I said my BEST Badniks! Metal Sonic: *robot noise* Scratch: What do you want use to do, Dr.Eggman? Grounder: Want us to senselessly chase Sonic and get trashed in one of our own traps like we always do? Eggman: NO! Listen to me, you metal morons! I want you to go into Station Square and mindlessly attack people. Scratch: Why? Eggman: Because for the past few months, it's been a vicious cycle...I take over the world... Sonic saves it...I take it over again...Sonic saves it...I'm trying to lure Sonic here into a trap to permanately get rid of him! Then the world will PERMANETELY be mine! YOSH! Grounder: Yes sir, Dr.Eggman! Eggman: You go attack. Meanwhile, I'll be eating lunch. When Sonic arrives, call me immeadiately! Scratch: Yes sir! But...what does this have to do with the title, about buying wortless junk? Eggman: Don't question me! ATTACK! *Later* *Half of Station Sqaure is destroyed* Scratch: Bwak ha ha! This is fun! *shoots a laser beam at a building, destroying it* Grounder: Yeah! Dr.Eggman will be so proud of us! *also destroys a building* Metal Sonic: *robot noise* Sonic: Hey! What's going on here? *all three at the same time* Scratch: Ack! Grounder: Uh oh! Metal Sonic: *robot noise* Sonic: I'm here to save Station Square! Up, over, and... Some random citizen: Is this chapter an AoStH spoof or something? Sonic: *stops suddenly* Yeah...I guess it is. Grounder: Oh...I forgot...what did Dr.Eggman tell us to do? *flashback* Eggman: When Sonic arrives, call me immeadiately! *end flashback* Grounder: Eggman is immeadiately! There, I followed Dr.Eggman's instructions! Sonic:*confused look* *Elsewhere, Mario's Pizza* Mario: Itsa me, Mario! What-a-you want-a-to order? Eggman: I'm in the mood for a light snack today...ten large pizzas! Mario: A-comin' right-a-up! *gives him the pizzas* Eggman: Hmmm...I wonder why Grounder hasn't called yet... *Back at Station Square* Scratch: So...now what do we do? Grounder: I dunno. Metal Sonic: *robot noise* *Mario's Pizza* Eggman: Hmmm...those transistorized twits probably forgot to call! I'm going to Station Square! Mario: Hey, you-a-did very good! Thank you-a-so much for -a-to-playing Super Mario 64! Eggman:*disturbed expression* *Station Square* Sonic: Wahaha! I never thought Eggman would be dumb enough to send you two out after all these years! Scratch: Better believe it, hedgehog! Grounder: Yeah! The SSSSS Squad lives on! Metal Sonic: *robot noise* Eggman: *flies into Station Suare in his Eggmobile* Aaaaarggh! Why didn't you call me?! Destroy Sonic now, you mental midgets! Scratch: *surprised* Oh...Yes sir, Dr.Eggman! I'll get him! Grounder: No, I will! Metal Sonic: *robot noise* Eggman: Oh, this is hopeless! Nevertheless, Sonic, I have lured you into my trap! Sonic: What trap? Eggman: Oh! That's right...I forgot to plan that part... Sonic: Well, you won't ever forgot this! Up, over, and gone! Eggman: Oh, that's so lame! Sonic: *spin-dashes into the Eggmobile, causing it to explode* Eggman: *flying through the sky* I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG! *thud!* Sonic: See ya! Eggman: Rest assured, Sonic...rest assured...the world WILL be mine.... To Be Continued... Mario: Yahoo! __________________________ Eggman: Next time on the Eggman Empire, Dr.Baconman comes back! I'll stop him, AND get Sonic back for ruining my beautiful plans for world domination, because...I AM THE EGGMAN! Episode 8:"Dr.Baconman Strikes Back!"