The Eggman Empire Written by and starring Dr.Eggman Disclaimer: This stuff belongs to Sega! _________________________________ Eggman: I'm Dr.Eggman and last time on The Eggman Empire I tried a failed attempt at getting my own games. None of them turned out very well, so I just decided to drop the idea. But then, out of nowhere, a mysterious figure appeared that resembles me! What does he want and why is he here? I'll find out on this episode of The Eggman Empire! ________________________________ Episode 5: "Dr.Baconman" Eggman: Who...who are you? ???: I...am Dr.Baconman! Eggman: Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Oh, nice to meet you! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Baconman: ... Eggman: What do you want?! Baconman: I have come to take over Eggman Land and turn it into Baconman Land! Eggman: Oh ho! I cannot let you do that, because this is MY...*Baconman pulls out a gun* Baconman: Behold the Bacon Beam! Eggman: Um...are you okay? Baconman: NO! I'M A PSYCHOTIC MANIAC!!! Now as I was saying, I will use my powerful space station, the Death Bacon, to conquer your planet! Eggman: Oh yeah?! Well your stupid! Baconman: ... Eggman: Go away or I smash you!*pulls out a hammer* Amy: Hey, that's mine!*takes it back and leaves* Baconman: You see, I come from the planet Free-dumb. There I defeated my enemy, Slownick the Pig. Now that I rule that planet, I plan to take over even more! Eggman: You fiend! Baconman: Enough chit-chat! I take over the world now! *Dr.Baconman presses a button, turning Eggman Land into Baconman Land. Weird, huh? You know, mindless citizens who worship Eggman now are mindless citizens who worship Baconman. Due to lack of creativity, I'm not going to explain how.* Baconman: And now to get rid of you! *throws Eggman out of a window* Eggman:*falling* You'll pay for this! *thud* *later, Sonic's house.* Tails: Sonic! Some big important politician wants to see us! Let's go! Sonic: Let's go, Tails! I'm ready to speed and gotta go and...aw, I'm all out of catch phrases. *later, big politician's house* Sonic: So, Mr.Big Polictician, what's the urgent business? Eggman:*suddenly appears* Ha ha ha ha. It's been a long time, hasn't it? Sonic: No. We just saw each other yesterday. Eggman:*ignoring Sonic* Good to see you again, Sonic. Tails:Doctor Robotnik! Eggman: Please allow me to thank you for coming all this way to see me! *two robots run up to them, and start dancing like chickens. They even start clucking.* Sonic: ....Well...that's a funny way to thank us! Tails: Sonic, this episode's gonna be a twisted parody of Sonic Anime, isn't it? Sonic: It's starting to look that way. Eggman: As you know, planet Eggman Land is ruled by me. *pulls out a globe* Sonic: Tell us something we DON'T know! Eggman: Oh, shut up! Heed me! As I was saying, a tyrant named Dr.Baconman has taken over. Now we must overthrow him, so the world can be ruled by ME again! Sonic: *yawn* Eggman: So that is why we must make a temporary allience. Otherwise, he could take over the world and destroy us all! Sonic:*sleeping* Eggman:Grrr...FINE! DON'T BLAME ME WHEN THIS HAPPENS!!!*the globe he was holding explodes* Sonic:*wakes up* How can we stop this terrible thing from happening, Robotnik? Eggman: There's only one thing to do. Someone must help me get past Baconman's traps,go into Bacontropolis, and stop that madman before it's too late! *points to Sonic* And it should be the fastest one here! Sonic: *yawn* Fine, I'll do it. Tails, you stay here. Tails: But, Sonic! Sonic: No buts! Stay here! *later, Bacontropolis* Eggman: Okay! Let's bust in! Sonic: Ready to go? Eggman: Why am I here, again? Sonic: *anime fall* Eggman: Right! Let's stop Baconman! * they enter, and fight past the Bacon-niks and other robots. They then locate Baconman's computer database information room/all-you-can-eat bacon buffet.* Baconman: Oh ho! You enter! I will soon launch the Death Bacon and shoot things... and stuff. Eggman: No you won't! Sonic, stop him! Sonic:*sleeping* Eggman: Doh! Looks like it's up to me! *for some unknown reason, Eggman has the seven Chaos Emeralds with him. They begin to circle around him... his moustache becomes gold...and he transforms into SUPER EGGMAN! Oh, that was lame.* SUPER Eggman: Oh ho! I am SUPER now! Baconman: No matter. I'll still beat you! SUPER Eggman: *hits Baconman very weakly. Baconman screams in pain.* Baconman: WaaaaaaaAaAaAaAaHhHHhHHhH!!! OoOoOoOooOoOoO!!!*faints* *SUPER EGGMAN become normal again.* Eggman: Well...that was easy. *later* Eggman:*on TV* Citizens of Eggman Land, I'm just letting you know that I am in controll again! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! *looks at camera man* AND CUT!!! Camera man: That's a rap! Eggman: *sigh* Life's getting...so...boring. I feel like I don't have a purpose. Shadow:Your pathetic. Eggman: Where the heck did you come from?! Shadow: That's not important. If you think you have no purpose, then come see me at my office. *hand him a card that says "Shadow's Psychiatry Clinic."* Eggman: Wow...your a psychiatrist? Hmmm...yes. I think I'll see you. I'm getting all depressed. Shadow: Hmmm...another way to make money. TO BE CONTINUED... ____________________ Eggman: Next time on the Eggman Empire, I go to see Shadow for help in finding the purpose for my life, and I find out that I should actually be GOOD! So I go around helping people! I wonder how long this will last(one episode, for sake of decent storyline.) I can be good if I want, for...I AM THE EGGMAN! ___________________ Stay tuned for Episode 6: "Good Eggman?"