Grym: Hey! Whaddaya know! A
fanfic! By me! Of all people! Ha hag! I’m usually really bad at fan-type
things! Let’s get this train wreck a-rollin!
Eggman: …Checkin E-mail, and
I take it to the flipside! !Edispilf eth ot ti ekat I dna ,liam-E
nikcehC… whoa… that was freakish…Go
Strong Bad!
Email: Dear Eggman, blah blah
blah cake for you! Blah blah blahblah blahblah blah blah, Peach.
Eggman: CAKE!!!! (Bolts out
the door and jumps in convenient warp pipe) AAH! I’m stuck!!! I wish
I wasn’t trapped in this stupid non-robotic
universe with no slaves to help me! At least now one of those adorable
mushrooms is going to show up to help! (3 hours) c’mon!!! (9 hours)
Hurry up!!!
(The next day)
Eggman: Ugghh… soooo booooooored…
Omochao: Hi, I’m Omochao!
I’m here to help you!
Eggman: NOOOOOOOOO!!! GET AWAY!!
GET AWAAAY!!!!!
Omochao: (lands on Eggman) Hi!
I’m Omochao! I’m here to help you!
Eggman: (starts struggling)
Must… Escape… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH! (Shoots down the pipe
at unimaginable speeds)
Grym: Wait, how was Omochao
there? This is the Mario universe!!! (Goes back and changes Omochao
to Omotoad) that’s better! ^_^
Omotoad: cool!
Grym: I am SO 1337!
Agnes: Agnes!
Grym: WAH! Jibbiliejibbilie
Jibbilie jih..bil..aay…
(At Princess Peach’s castle)
Eggman: Now that that’s over,
let’s go get the yummy cake! CAAKE!!
(”Runs” up to castle) Ugh! That was a lot of movement!! I’m hungry!)
(Lakitu flies down)
Eggman: At the risk of
breaking through the third wall, I state that Lakitu are always enemies
in Mario… Er… Eggman games, so DIIIIIEEEEE!!!! O.o
(Jumps and kicks Lakitu down to the moat)
Lakitu (falling): You can adjust
the camera angle with ceeeeeeeeeeee!!! (Splash)
Eggman: (bursts into the
castle) CAKE!!!
Voce of Bowser: Bwahahahahahahahaaa!!
No one’s home! Now scram!! And don’t come back!!
Eggman: Well that’s not very
logical. If no one’s here, then how did you just say that?
Voice of Bowser: Uuuhh… I’m
just a… RECORDING!!! Yes! That’s right, a recording!
Eggman: Then how did you just
answer me?
Voice of Bowser: …
Grym: FOURTH WALL BREAKER!!
AUTHOR ATTACK!! ( Disables Bowser’s ability to randomly project his
voice ) OWNED!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
Eggman: Okay, ignoring that,
where is everybody? And more importantly, MY CAKE!!!
Toad: Eggman! Help! Bowser has
stolen the power stars!!!
Eggman: …So?
Toad: The power stars provide
all the castle’s magic!
Eggman: …So?
Toad (sarcastically): Uuuhh,
without them we’re trapped in the walls!
Eggman: …So?
Toad: Without them we can’t
bake you a cake.
Eggman: HOLY CRAP!!! What do
I do?
Toad: Go into the room with
the big Bob-Omb painting.
Eggman: …Why?
Toad: AAAAARGGHHHH!!! (Picks
up Eggman with inexplicable Author-given powers and heaves him in the
painting)
Eggman: WAAAAUGH!!! (Lands in
Bob-Omb Battlefield) What was with that crazy mushroom? Say, where am
I anyways?
Bob-Omb Buddy: You’re in Bob-Omb
Battlefield! There’s a war going on between the red and black Bob-Ombs!
We’re nice Bob-Ombs, and we don’t like shooting…
Eggman: WHY THE HECK NOT?!!??!
Bob-Omb Buddy: But those nasty
black Bob-Ombs would like nothing better than to blow up this entire
painting world!
Eggman: COOL!!! I’m joining
their side!!! See ya later! When I’m destroying you!! OUTTA MY WAY
YOU STUPID GOOMBAS!!! (Jumps, kicks, and punches all goombas)
Bob-Omb Buddy: He is such a
weirdo.
Bob Omb Buddy 2: He’ll either get himself killed, doom us all, or win the war for us by accident.
Don’t mind
the header
Eggman: Alright! Almost to the
top of the mountain to meet my new boss!
Big Bob-Omb: How dare you intrude
on me! THE GREAT KING OF KABOOM! THE BIG BOB-OMB!!!!
Eggman: No! You don’t understand!
I’m on your side!!!
Big Bob-Omb: Then you should
know that you are not allowed up here! The penalty is ME throwing YOU
off the mountain!!!!
Eggman: But I’m allergic to
falling!
Big BB: TOO FREAKING BAD! (Throws
Eggman down to the bottom of the mountain)
Eggman: Hey! I deserve to be
treated better than that! What about workers rights?! Grabs convenient
megaphone) Attention all Bob- Omb soldiers! Are you tired of getting
thrown around by a half-wit tyrant! Dang, that sounds familiar…Eggman…
Empire…NAH! Anyway, All y’alls follow me! We’ll take down
that… that… um… Jerk..erson…
Bob-Ombs: YEAH!
Big BB: Huh? What the ‘splode?
(Eggman and troops climb the
mountain)
Eggman: We’re revolting, yo!
Surrender or die! Then I can bring you back to life with that star that
I love so very very much, and then I’ll kill you again!
Big BB: Oh really? SOLDIERS,
ATTACK!!!
Bob-Ombs: …
Big BB: Oh, crap…
Eggman: Ready?.. ‘SPLODE!
DOOJ!
(4th of July music
plays) (Bombs exploding everywhere)
Grym: WOW! These fireworks Rule!
Eggman: Yeah! We win! Now you
can all be MY slaves!
Bob-Ombs:…
DOOJ x2!
BB Buddy #1: Well, you got your
miracle!
Eggman: (flying out of the painting
with the star) SOME MIRACLE!!!
End of
chapter 1!
Liked it? Email me at carter.clements@comcast.net
For more crap like this, go
to http://www.freewebs.com