Disclaimer: I only own Ishnt. Everyone else is copyright Sega, George Lucas, and whoever owns Excel Saga. Oh, and Mario Kart's copyright Nintendo. Muahaha.

Ishnt: "So, I'm gonna be opening this chapter. Right, so, as you should know, this is a story about what would happen if Eggman and Sonic switched places. Last time, Eggman was arrested and taken to Prison Island! There was also some weird black hedgehog called Shadow, that stole a Chaos Emerald. And also, Knuckles' magic box of explosives was scattered throughout the world! Amy and Eggman got engaged and escaped from the Prison Island prison... And... Um... I think that's all so far! Let's begin!"

CHAPTER 2: Sonic Blows Up Half the Moon and Stuff Happens!

-CINEMA: GREEN FOREST-

Eggman: *Spinning, falling.* "Waaaaaaaaah! Oof!"

Amy: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" *Falls on him.* "Hi Eggy!"

Eggman: *Gets up and dusts himself off.* "Whew! So far, so good!" *Notices Shadow standing on a nearby log.* "Hey, that's..."

Shadow: "That fat Eggman again, of all places!"

Eggman: "I found you... Faker!"

Amy: "Um, I don't think he really looks anything like you..."

Shadow: "Faker? I think YOU'RE the fake Eggman around here. YOU'RE comparing yourself to me? Ha! You're not even good enough to be my..."

Eggman: "I'LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WORDS!"

Shadow: "...Um, fake?"

-BOSS: SHADOW-

Shadow: "There's no time to play games! You won't even get the chance!"

Eggman: "Wah! This is the SECOND time! I just wanna play Mario Kart: Double Dash..."

Shadow: *Twitch.* "That game..."

*FLASHBACK.*

Shadow: "GRAH! Curse you! What? Hey! That's not fair!"

Sonic: "Boy, Shadow, you suck. You're only on 50 CC, on the Mushroom Cup..."

Shadow: "Shut up!"

*NORMAL TIME.*

Shadow: *Twitch, twitch.*

Eggman: "Uh, are we gonna fight now?"

Shadow: "Yes! For great justice! HAAAAAA!" *Attacks Eggman.*

Eggman: "Wah!" *Runs.* "No fair, I can't do the homing attack!"

Shadow: "Ha, too bad for you!"

Eggman: "Waaaaaaah!" *Runs faster, flailing arms.*

Amy: "Grr..." *Walks up to Shadow, hits him with her hammer.*

Shadow: "Waaaaaah!" *Sent flying, hits a tree, flung back to platform where they're fighting, and crashes into ground.* *Dizzy swirly things for eyes.*

Eggman: "Yosh! Thanks, Amy!"

Amy: "No problem!" ^_^

Shadow: "Bah! You've only hit me once! It takes THREE hits to beat me!" *Gets up, does homing attack again.*

Eggman: *Sidesteps, watching Shadow fall into water.*

Shadow: "Waaaaaaah!" *Flails arms, sinking.*

Eggman: "Heheh..."

Shadow: *Climbs up back onto the platform, panting.* "That... That's only two hits..."

Eggman: *Kicks Shadow in the face.*

Shadow: "Not bad for an imposter..." *Passes out.*

Eggman: "Do you know who I am?"

-BOSS FIGHT OVER-

Shadow: *Wakes up.* "No, actually..."

Eggman: "I'm-"

Radio: *Beep beep!* *Sonic's voice.* "Shadow! What do you think you're doing? Hurry and get back here right now before the island blows up with you on it!"

Eggman: "Blows up?! Did Knuckles drop his explosives on this island?"

Shadow: *Looks around.* "Guh... Agh..." *Runs off.*

Eggman: "I have to get out of here... And find Amy and Tails... Right away!"

Amy: "Ummmm, I'm right here..."

Eggman: "I have to get out of here... And find Tails... Right away!" *Grabs Amy's hand and begins running.*

STAGE 5 - GREEN FOREST

Amy: "Wheeee! This is fuuuuuuun!"

Eggman: "Gotta hurry... Must... Not... Die..."

Amy: "Wheeeeeeeeee! Umm, Eggman, where are we going?"

Eggman: "I don't knoooow! But it's more likely that we'll not die if we're running to find a way out!"

-CUT TO: PLATFORM WHERE THEY JUST WERE-

Tails: *Looking around.* "Hm, I thought they'd be here..."

-CUT TO: EGGMAN AND AMY RUNNING-

Eggman: "Amy! What are we going to do?!"

Amy: "Keep running aimlessly?"

Eggman: "No! I mean, we're out of food!"

Amy: "Oh... Um, I dunno."

Omochao: "Press B button to do a Sommersault! Sommersaults are important to get you through those tight places!"

Amy: "....THERE!" *Tackles the Omochao.*

Eggman: "Hardly enough for both of us..."

Amy: "But there's nothing else!"

Omochao: "Please... Let go of me!"

Amy: *Tosses the Omochao in her mouth and swallows.* "OK, we'll just look for another one for you."

Omochao: *Reappears.* "MUAHAHAHAAAAA! YOU FOOLS! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT!"

Eggman: "This doesn't look good."

Omochao: *Eats them both.* "MUAHAHAAAAAA!" *Flies around crazily, shooting death beams.* *Shoots Ishnt in the stomach with a death beam.*

Ishnt: "AHHHHHHHH!" *Dies.*

Universe: *Ceases to be.*

Great Will of the Macrocosm: *Appears.* *Sigh.* "You have got to be kidding me... I will now start the story over again, using my great powers..."

*RESET.*

Amy: *Tosses the Omochao in her mouth and swallows.* "OK, we'll just look for another one for you."

Eggman: "Nah, let's just get going! We don't wanna die!" *Grabs Amy's hand and begins running again.*

Amy: "So take me baaaaaaaaack iiiiiiiiin tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime! To another world! When you can be miiiiiiiiiii-"

Eggman: "Amy... What are you doing?"

Amy: "Singing?"

Eggman: "And.... Why are you singing?"

Amy: "To calm you down?"

Eggman: "That's not exactly a good idea when I have to run for our lives! There's a REASON for adreniline!"

Amy: "Hm. Is it me, or have I been here befoooooooooooooore?"

Eggman: *Sigh.* *Continues running.*

Amy: "...So take me away from here, to somewh- Hey, look, a giant golden ring!" *Points.*

Eggman: "Yosh! That must be the goal!" *Jumps through the ring.*

*They both appear in a spinning maze.*

Eggman: "What the?!"

Amy: "I think it's the Special Stage..."

Eggman: "Great. Well, let's find the Chaos Emerald!" *Rolls through the maze, eventually getting to the end.*

*They teleport back to Green Forest.*

Eggman: "Yosh! I got a... Banana peal?"

Amy: "Huh?"

Eggman: "Hm, the Chaos Emeralds must be too important to the plot to be gotten like that."

Amy: "Aww. Oh well. Hey, look, a golden ring right behind that one!" *Points.*

Eggman: "Yosh!" *Touches the other ring.*

*Mission complete music.*

Eggman: *Gets an A Rank.* "Hm, great. An A Rank. Wow."

A Rank: *Stays an A Rank.*

Eggman: "Huh?!"

Omochao: *Appears.* "You pink hedgehog! You ate my brother! Now you must feel the wrath, as I eat something of yours!"

Amy: "Nooooo!" *Clings to Eggman.*

Omochao: *Eats the A Rank.* "And let that be a lesson to you!" *Explodes.*

Amy: *Scratches her head.* "Um... OK?"

-CINEMA THAT'S NOT REALLY A CINEMA BECAUSE IT DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN IN THE GAME: GREEN FOREST-

Tails: "Where have you idiots been?! I was looking all over for you!"

Eggman: "Tails! The island's about to blow up!"

Tails: "Oh no! Quick, get in!"

Eggman: *Hops in second seat, which magically appears.* "Yosh!"

Amy: "What? I thought this only had room for one person!"

Tails: "You never asked."

Amy: "YOU COULD'VE CORRECTED ME!"

Tails: "You didn't tell me to."

Amy: *Falls.* "WHY don't you like me?"

Tails: "'Cause you wouldn't let me have any cookies that one time!"

Amy: "..."

Eggman: *Grabs Amy.* "Quickly! Let's go, befo-"

*Prison Island explodes.*

Great Will of the Macrocosm: "I wish I could say I didn't see that coming."

*RESET.*

Eggman: *Grabs Amy.* "Quickly! Let's go, before the island explodes!"

Tails: "Right!" *Flies off Prison Island.*

*Prison Island explodes as they fly away.*

STAGE 6 - PUMPKIN HILL

Knuckles: "This place sure feels haunted..."

Pac Man: *Runs by.* "Wappa wappa wappa!"

Ghost: *Chases Pac Man.*

Knuckles: "There's no time to lose! I have to hurry and find the explosives!" *Glides around.*

Omochao: "The explosives may be burried! Did you find the digging tool yet?"

Knuckles: "Huh? Why would the explosives be burried? I only knocked them out of the crate..."

Omochao: "The explosives may be burried! Did you find the digging tool yet?"

Knuckles: "GAAAAAAH!" *Kicks the Omochao off the ledge.*

Omochao: "Bye bye!"

Knuckles: "Hmhmhmmm..." *Listens to background music.* "What? He got Larry? Who's Larry?"

Ghost: "It says LEERY you idiot!"

Knuckles: "Are you calling me an idiot?"

Ghost: "Yeah, I am!"

Knuckles: "Grrrr..." *Glares at the ghost.*

Ghost: "Ohhh, a red dog that's mad at me, I'm so scaaaared."

Knuckles: "THAT'S IT!" *Tackles the ghost and begins attacking it.*

*GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE.*

Ghost: "Oh God, how can he- AAAAAAAAAGGGGGH! No, no, don't do that, no, no, no, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhh!"

Omochao: "I'm glad I'm not the ghost!" *Explodes.*

Knuckles: "Hmph." *Dusts off his hands, ghost in pieces near him.*

Ghost: "It hurts... Ohhhh, why am I not dead yet? Oh... yeah... I wish I could die agaaaaaain..."

Knuckles: "Well, my work here is done."

Monitor: *Written.* "What about the explosives?"

Knuckles: "Oh yeah... Where are they?"

Monitor: *Written.* "Ummm... I don't knooooow."

Knuckles: "BUT YOU'RE RANDOM WISE MAN!"

Monitor: *Written.* "...Huh?"

Knuckles: "Oops, reference to a game... Well, you're not a very good hint monitor if you don't even know where the next explosive is."

Monitor: *Written.* "..... *Cries.* I try to be a good monitor, but I never do well enough for anything! MY LIFE IS LIE!!!" *Explodes.*

Knuckles: "...Crap." *Walks around aimlessly.* *Sigh.* "How can I find the explosives now? This place is so huge... And now the monitor's gone..."

Monitor: *Written.* "No, now A monitor's gone. There are plenty of us."

Knuckles: "Ah! Tell me where the next explosive is!"

Monitor: "PUMPKIN MOUNTAIN!" *Explodes.*

Knuckles: *Falls.* "Does anyone in this universe know how to make NON-exploding machines?"

Sonic: "Bah! Those are out of style! Exploding machines are the way to go!"

Knuckles: *Glares at Sonic.* "You..."

Sonic: "Er... I'm not here!" *Disappears.*

Knuckles: "Right..." *Runs to Pumpkin Mountain, climbing around the walls.* "Hmhmhmm... Ah, here it is!" *Picks up an explosive.* "Only two more! Now, where to find it..."

Omochao: *Flies up.* "EXPLODING MACHINES!" *Explodes.*

Knuckles: "Hey, that's right! I remember! One of my explosives was in the shape of an Omochao! But how will I be able to tell which one?"

*Two Omochao fly up.*

Omochao 1: "One of us always tells the truth, and the other always lies."

Omochao 2: "That's a lie!"

*The Omochao spin around, too fast for Knuckles to see which is which.*

Both Omochao: "Ask!"

Knuckles: "OK... What's 2 plus 2?"

Omochao 1: "Four!"

Omochao 2: "Zero!"

Knuckles: "Which one of you is my EXPLOSIVE?"

Omochao 1: "Not me!"

Omochao 2: "Me!"

Knuckles: "...Huh?"

Omochao 1: "Neither of us are!" *Explodes.*

Omochao 2: "Wheeeeee!" *Explodes.*

Knuckles: *Falls.* "OK... Gotta find the explosives..." *Jumps down.* *Picks up an Omochao.* "Are YOU really an explosive?"

Omochao: "..." *BOOM.*

Knuckles: *Reappears at beginning of level.* "Oh well... One more!" *Begins digging randomly.* "It must be burried!"

Omochao: "BURRIED!" *Flies around.*

Knuckles: "Ha!" *Hits explosive.* *BOOM.* *Reappears at beginning of level.* @_@ "I wiiiiin..." *Gets an A Rank, which immediately explodes.*

-CINEMA: STATION SQUARE-

Sonic: "Muahaha! Citizens of Earth, lend me your ears, and listen to me very carefully!"

Random Person: "Hey, Sonic! I couldn't help but notice you told me to lend you my ears, and listen to you carefully! Well, aren't they the same thing, ya goofball?"

Sonic: "GET BACK IN THE BACONMAN EMPIRE!"

Random Person: "Awwww, fine." *Disappears.*

Sonic: "My name is Sonic the Hedgehog, the world's fastest hedgehog, and soon to be the world's greatest ruler! Now witness the beginning of the greatest empire of all time, ha ha ha!"

*Space colony ARK explodes in half, shoots beam at moon, blowing it in half.*

Sonic: "AHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA! AHAHA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAHA! AHAHA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! Ha ha... haaaaaaaaaa..." *24 hour countdown appears on monitor.*

Amy: *Points up.* "Look! Half of the moon is gone! Oh noooo!"

Eggman: "Ugh, Sonic! That creep never gives up!"

Tails: "But how'd he manage to harness all that energy?"

Eggman: "It's got to be... a CHICKEN SANDWICH!"

Tails: *Falls.* "CHAOS EMERALDS! THE CHAOS EMERALDS! YOU FOOL!"

Eggman: "Oh... Yeah! THAT'S the reason they were looking for them!"

Tails: "They were looking for them? I thought you only knew that Shadow had one..."

Eggman: "Yeah, but you can never steal just one! Mmmm... Potato chips..."

Tails: *Takes out a Chaos Emerald.*

Eggman: "TAILS?!"

Tails: "What?"

Eggman: "I dunno. What's with the Chaos Emerald?"

Tails: "The Chaos Emeralds are like magnets! I can use that to track where Sonic is!"

Police: "The three of you! Freeze! Put your hands in the air! And stuff!"

Eggman: "Tails, I'll take care of the police! Find Sonic!" *Runs off.*

Tails: "Got it!" *Grabs Amy.*

Amy: ;_; "Eggmaaaaaaaan! Don't leave me alone with Tails! He'll torture me and hurt me and-"

Tails: *Throws Amy in the fuel tank.* "Let's get going!"

STAGE 7 - MISSION STREET

Tails: "You know, Eggman DID tell me to go find Sonic... But I could never pass up the chance for some good old random destruction!" *Begins shooting random police cars, roadblocks, etc.*

Amy: "Aren't you supposed to be a hero?"

Tails: "Awww, since when does being a hero mean you can't cause random destruction?"

Amy: "Since always?"

Tails: "Bah, you're no fun." *Runs around, blasting.*

Omochao: "You need the booster to get across!"

Tails: "Gee, thanks. But how 'bout not." *Puts the Omochao in the foot of the Tornado mech, shoots at it, making it explode, propelling him across the gap.*

Amy: "You scare me..."

Tails: "I know!" ^_^

Amy: "Well, you should at least TRY to find Sonic!"

Tails: "I know, but for some reason, the Chaos Emerald isn't picking him up, so I'm just gonna run around aimlessly, destroying things!"

Amy: "Eggman... Heeeeeelp..."

-CUT TO: SOME OTHER HIGHWAY-

Eggman: *Running from police cars and officers.* "TONZURA KOITEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Police: "Hey! You! Stop! You are under arrest! Stop! You must be arrested! Ice cream tastes good!"

-BACK TO TAILS AND AMY-

Tails: "Wheeeee!" *Blast blast stomp blast BOOOM.* "This is fuuuun!"

Amy: "The worst part is the fire feels hotter, and I'm not getting high off fuel fumes like last time!"

Tails: "That's because I got rid of most of the fuel, 'cause you're less expensive and don't run out!"

Amy: *Cries.* "Eggmaaaaan... Heeeeeelp meeeee..."

Tails: "Whooo! Hey, an Omochao standing in that shadow. I'll see what it wants." *Walks up to it.*

Omochao: "There is a trap above!" *Giant weight crushes Tails.* "Be careful not to land in the shadow!"

Tails: "DAMN YOU, OMOCHAO! Aagh, pain..." *Shoots the Omochao.* *Sigh.* "Now, anyway, to continue..." *Runs onward.*

Amy: "Continue? But you're just running aimlessly!"

Tails: "Yep!" *Shoots random stuff.*

Amy: "What happened to your sanity?"

Tails: "It disappeared the moment I entered this fic..."

Amy: *Sigh.* "You aren't acting ANYTHING like your normal Sega personality!"

Tails: "I know. But oh well!" *Shoots random things.* "Uh... Huh? What's this? A giant wanted sign... For ME?! What did I ever do wrong?!"

*Camera shows bunch of stuff burning and destroyed behind him.*

Tails: "...Besides that?"

Random Guy (NOT to be confused with Random Person): "You broke a wanted criminal out of prison!"

Tails: "And that?"

Some Other Guy: "You put Amy in a fuel tank!"

Tails: "Hey, that was self defense!"

Everyone but Tails: "...What?!"

Tails: "Yeah! She was... trying to... um... Ah, screw it." *Shoots the sign, runs on.* "Now where should I go a good place to go would probably be the golden ring which always ends these levels and somehow gets me in the correct place and..." *Looks at Ishnt, standing on a nearby pillar.* "NOT THAT KIND OF RUN-ON!"

Ishnt: "OK desu ka."

Tails: *Sigh.* "Now... Ah, there it is!" *Touches ring.* "Yeah!"

*Mission complete music.*

Tails: *Gets an A Rank.* "Yay!"

Amy: *Jumps out of fuel tank, pounding the A Rank to pieces.* "THAT'S FOR PUTTING ME IN THE FUEL TANK!"

Tails: "Awww..."

STAGE 8 - AQUATIC MINE

Knuckles: "Hm. I didn't expect the inside of the mines to be like this. This is gonna be tougher than I thought..."

Omochao: "Use the switches to lower the water levels!"

Knuckles: "Ummm, why?"

Omochao: "Use the switches to lower the water levels!"

Knuckles: "Grah!" *Lunges at Omochao, but slips and falls in the water.*

Omochao: "Use the switches to lower the-" *Hit by truck which Eggman knocked over previously.*

Knuckles: *Blub blub.* *Swims to surface.* "OK, now what?"

Yoda: *Appears.* "WHAT YOU CAN SEE WITH YOUR EYES IS NOT ALL THAT THERE IS! OPEN THE EYES OF YOUR HEART!"

Knuckles: "AHHHHH!" *Falls back in the water.*

Yoda: "Done my work here is!" *Disappears.*

Knuckles: *Bloop.* *Thinking.* (Hm, now, where am I? What can I do? Hmm... Hey! An explosive!) *Swims toward it and grabs it.* *Swims above water.* "Ha! Although I don't know the effect water might have on my explosives..."

Omochao: "To test it, feed yourself to the sharks and-" *Explodes, smoking, with a bullet where it just was.*

Knuckles: *Holding a gun with a smoking barrel.* "It was becoming infected with a non-Sega personality... Even... though... most everyone in this fic is..." *Puts gun away.* "Especially Tails..."

-CUT TO: HIGHWAY IN STATION SQUARE.-

Amy: *Running down the street, being chased by Tails.* "Stop it! Go kill Omochao instead!"

Tails: "No! You're bigger!"

Amy: "Waaaah!" *Flails arms, runs faster.*

Tails: "You're not gonna get away from meeeeeeeee!" *Speeds after her.*

-CUT TO: AQUATIC MINE-

Knuckles: "Oh well. Time to find the next two explosives!"

Yoda: *Reappears.* "Yo."

Knuckles: "AHHHHHH!" *Falls back in the water.*

Yoda: "Wrong advice I gave you! At the bottom of the mine is one explosive!"

Knuckles: "But I'll drown if I try to get that!"

Yoda: "Too bad that is." *Disappears again.*

Knuckles: *Sigh.* "OK..." *Dives down, swimming quickly.* (Must hurry...) *Reaches bottom.* (Whoo... There it is!) *Grabs explosive.* (Must... get... to... surface...) *Swiiiiiims... aaaaaaaaaand... too late. He drowns and dies and reappears at the beginning of the level and yeah.*

Knuckles: "Agh..."

Omochao (The one crushed by truck): "You should've taken my advice!"

Knuckles: "..." *Falls.* "OK... Now... To get the next explosive..." *Jumps to pulley thing, goes up.* "I have a feeling it's up here!"

Giant Sign With an Arrow That Says "IT'S HERE!": *Pops out of ground, pointing at an explosive.*

Knuckles: *Digs around.* "Where could it be?!"

Monitor: *Written.* "Follow the sign!"

Knuckles: "A sign? Oh, if only I had one..."

Monitor: *Written.* "Are you BLIND?"

Knuckles: "No... How could I see what you're saying if I was blind?"

Monitor: *Written.* "It's RIGHT OVER THERE!" *Arrow pops out of monitor, pointing at sign.*

Knuckles: "That's probably one of Sonic's traps!"

Monitor: *Written.* "Graaaah! Just get it!"

Knuckles: "Fine..." *Grabs the explosive.*

*Mission complete music.*

Knuckles: *Gets an A Rank.* "Hm..."

A Rank: *Flies up to him.* "Message from Sonic!" *Lands in Knuckles' hand.* *Screen pops out of the top of the A Rank with Sonic on it.*

Sonic: "I hope you enjoy this gift. It was crafted of the finest explosives in the land that WEREN'T yours."

Knuckles: "What?!"

A Rank: *Explodes.*

Knuckles: *Blackened.* "..." *Cough.* *Looks over at monitor.* "WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!"

Monitor: "Er... Ah... Don't mind me!" *Explodes.*

Knuckles: *Sigh.*

TO BE CONTINUED...