Advanced Robotics

CHAPTER 7

The day finally came for them to leave. They had a long trip ahead of
them. Jen had packed food, clothes, and some serious heat. Vikki was
now an honorary member of the family and was practicing with her
sledgehammer. Lupin finally got over the fight with Jen, and has the
mission planned and ready for the infiltration of Moscow. As for Joe,
he was finishing up on the plane. Not much, just a four-seater with a
50 foot wingspan, complete with dual ion engines, nuclear powered,
homing missile system, auto pilot, shielding, top speed of 900mph,
radar, sonar, ground camera, stealth system, energy blast,
refrigerator, air conditioner, cd/dvd player, gamecube, ps2, xbox,
internet, and bathroom. As you could guess, this is a marvel that one
man could create such a pimped out ride. Lupin walked outside, the
huge aircraft eclipsed the sun. He looked with pride at Joe.
"Son, this has to be the finest model airplane you've ever built.
Now, please, hurry up with the real one, we're running out of time,"
said Lupin. Everyone turned and stared at him with confusion.
"Uhh, dad," stated an agitated Joe, "this IS the real one. We're
flying out today."
"You've got to be kidding me!" Lupin was startled at Joe's remark; he
looked at the amazing ship like it was a piece of trash. "Come on,
back in the good old days, my mentor built planes twenty times that
size! You kids today are just too lazy!"
Joe twitched, then filled with rage. "Vikki," he asked, his face
distorted with fury, "Would you do the honors of knocking some sense
into this old coot?" She was one step ahead of him and slammed him on
the head with her hammer.
"BLOOODDDY HEEEEELLLLL!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed, then got up in a daze.
"Oooh, fine, I'll go, DAMMIT VIKKI YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT! Ow, I
could really use some Neosporin…"
As they all loaded the ship, the house across the street lit up, and
the neighbor's minivan drove in the driveway. Since it was 4 in the
morning, this was totally unusual.
"Oh, shit," whispered Lupin, "its Bill." Bill hopped out, he was a
short, bald man with glasses and a moustache. He opened the trunk,
which contained a very large wooden crate. Bill looked over at Lupin's
house and saw the four of them and their plane.
"Hey, neighbor!" he called and waved, "Whoa! That's a nice boat you
guys got! You all going on a fishing trip this morning?"
"Sure, let's go with that," Joe said, "Why are you up this early?"
"Well, it's my wife's birthday and she told me that she just wanted
one of them new high-tech robot maids. Can you believe Romanov's is
open this early? Hey! You guys wanna check it out? I'll just turn it
on for a second to make sure it works before I wrap it."
"Oh, Shit!! Wait! Don't turn it on!! Throw it away! Destroy it!!"
yelled Lupin as he ran to stop Bill.
"What? Oh yeah, I forgot. You old people are all for classical stuff.
Well, sorry but I'm one of those hip young kids you old men hate. I'm
down with my g's in the hood, yo. I just recently got a cell phone
with picture messaging, downloadable ringtones, dsl, and a
2000-megabyte hard drive for my 5-year-old daughter! Ha! You old
geezers should be in a retirement home and not take up space so the
future of the world may discover great things like Romanov here did.
Now let's see, where's the on button on this thing?"
Suddenly, a large metal arm broke out of the crate. The whole crate
burst apart, and standing tall was a large metal Romanov attack droid.
It towered over Bill, who stood there terrified.
"Hey!" Bill yelled, "This isn't the sexy French maid model that I
ordered! I want my money back! GAAACK!" He screamed as the attack
droid turned to him and grabbed him by the throat. It lifted him up
off the ground so they were eye level. It scanned Bill's face.
"Subject: human. Name: unknown. Destroy: affirmative." It lifted him
off the ground even more and from its shoulder came a small laser
beam. It charged as it located its target. Bill was struggling for air
and gasping for help. Just then, Lupin ran up and pulled a shotgun out
of his coat. He pressed it against the droid's stomach.
"WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD, MOTHER FUCKER!!!" he screamed and
blasted a hole right through its main CPU system. It stood there and
dropped Bill. He screamed, ran into his house, and locked the door.
Lupin stood there, disgusted at the droid, then walked away.
Everything was silent. It was time to go.
"SYSTEM REBOOTING! STATUS: INJURED. WARNING! TARGET: LUPIN IS IN
SIGHT. CALLING ALL UNITS! CALLING ALL UNITS!!" A red beacon came from
its head and a siren wailed. From all down the street you could hear
the dreadful sound of metal hitting the pavement. From houses
everywhere, maids, dishwashers, laundry machines, dog walkers, and
anything else with a Romanov label on it came marching down the street
to their fallen comrade. They had only one objective, the capture of
Lupin and all of his associates.
"Shit! Looks like it's time to go! Start her up, Joe!" Lupin yelled.
They piled into the plane and Joe and Jen got into the cockpit.
"Let's start her up fast, Joe!"
"She needs time to charge!"
"We don't have time! Just start it!"
The robots were closing in. They all opened up a door on their chest
and they all pulled out blaster rays. They immediately started firing
upon the plane, causing some serious damage to the hull.
"She can't take much more! We'll have to deploy the shields!"
"No, Jen! We'll lose all thrust power and I don't know if they'll hold
long enough for us to start up again!"
"Well if we don't do something, we'll be sitting ducks out here!"
"Fine, deploy the shields!" he yelled with discontent. He pressed a
button and a blue electricity bubble surrounded the ship. The droids
still fired at the shield but it simply cancelled out the ray.
"Shield is already at 80% strength! If we keep it up like this, it
will be completely gone!"
"Just hold up, and get this damn thing off the ground ASAP!"
Joe started checking gauges, pressing switches, and pulling levers.
"Starting first engine, now!" The ship started to move a little. They
pulled out of the driveway and into the droid infested street.
"Shield's at 60%! Hurry up, Joe!"
"Starting runway engine, now!" The ship slowly started down the
street, starting to pick up speed. A few droids got in the way to stop
the ship, but were just electrified by the shields.
"Shields won't last much longer!"
"I can't start the third engine with all the droids in front of the ship!"
"We're doomed!"
"Not yet you're not!" came a voice from outside the ship.
"For though I may be mild mannered Bill Patterson by day, by night I
turn into my evil alter ego, the evil Dr. Bastard! Ha ha ha ha!!!"
Lupin looked out the window, where Bill was wearing goggles, a
Spiderman mask, a cape, a vest, and underwear over latex pants. He
could only say omg over and over and felt it was more embarrassing
than hilarious. Bill-I mean the Evil Dr. Bastard just kept on talking.
"No one shall be a big meanie to Dr. Bastard! Not even a robot that I
made 6 easy payments of $39.95 on! Ha ha ha ha!! I shall deal with you
robots now!" He pulled out a hunting rifle and shot a droid with it.
"Ha! Like that, bitches? It only cost me $59.99!" The robots turned
away from the shield and started towards Dr. Bastard. They fired upon
him, which made him scream and run back into his house.
"Gee, thanks a lot, Bill."
"No, wait, Jen. We actually have enough power to get off the ground!"
"Then what the hell are we still doing here, Joe! Blast off!!"
"Starting third engine, now!!" The ship sped down the street, and as
the shield depleted, they launched into the air. They were safe for
now, and they were on their way to their greatest adventure ever!