He was running… running… running… out of breath! The tall, fat scientist was desperately running through his own base's hallways, terrified by something chasing him. He threw down chairs and trashcans as we ran in hopes of slowing whatever it was behind him down, but he knew it was in vain. Dr. Ivo Robotnik, or Dr. Eggman, was out of luck this time, as he had gone too far, but it seemed such a blur. He finally made his tired way into a large, open, dome-shaped room, panting and wheezing. He looked over his shoulder in disbelief as a large cloud of smoke came through the door with a strange shadow looming through it.
Just then, Eggman gasped, as a four-foot tall black and red hedgehog walked through the haze, with a blue X-shaped jewel shining radiantly on his forehead. The hedgehog moved angrily forward and he shouted, "Die, monster!" the hedgehog's hand turned into a blade and he swung and-
"Aaaagh! Mommy!" Eggman cried as he bolted upright in his bed, "Eh? It… it was just a dream? Phew~…" The fat man flopped back down onto his bed, panting hard from the horrible nightmare, "That… that was ridiculous! Shadow wouldn't have done that to me! What would the world be like with me? Dr. Eggman! Genius extraordinaire!" He paused and thought about the possibilities then wondered, "Was that a premonition or some type? Nah! Couldn't be, just a dream. Eh… but what if it isn't just a dream? What if it's going to happen? I'd better go get help!" Eggman sat upright and instead decided to go get a drink and watch some TV since he didn't feel very tired anymore.
Eggman sat down in his favorite recliner and turned out the ol' tube and flipped through the 500+ channels of pure garbage and soap operas. Monster movies, cooking shows (lots of these), game shows, but suddenly something caught Eggman's attention. A TV psychic! "'ello out d'here in da- TV-Land!" a strange, perky, Jamaican female voice announced, "Do you be havin' some tro'bles d'hat be bot'erin' ya', deary? If ya do, give ol' Ms. Oelc a call, now! I can read da' tarot cards, here, I can check da' future for ya, hon, I can interpret da' dreams ya been havin',"
Eggman jumped, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What was that last part?" he asked the TV.
"I said 'I can interpret da' dreams ya been havin'. Now, pay attention," the lady replied.
"I see," Eggman said, "Well, what's the number?"
"Ms. Oelc's number be 555-nutjob, hon! Call me up and let my psychic prowess be da shinin' light o' ya future!" she announced.
"Very well!" Eggman declared, nabbing the phone conveniently stashed next to his recliner then he stopped and thought a moment "Isn't that too many numbers?"
"Just call me now, dear," the TV spoke to him again. So, he shrugged it off and called the number. "'ello! Ms. Oelc da psychic mistress of the stars ya be speakin' wit'!" the cheery voice from the TV announced to the fat doctor.
"Yes, I'm Dr. Eggman, genius extraordinaire. I heard on your commercial you do dream interpretations?" Eggman asked.
"Okay, hon, first I'm gonna need yo' sign and credit card number!" Oelc declared.
"I have my card right here," Eggman explained, "and I think I'm a… erm… Library or something,"
"Okay, den, hon," Oelc announced, "Now dat we got that sorted thro'ugh, whatcha be needin'?"
"Well, it's this awkward dream I've had, I think it might be a sign or something," Eggman admitted, "It's like this…" and the scientist told the psychic his dream.
"Hmm… let me consult d'ah tarot cards," Oelc suggested, "Okay, I see you are the moon card,"
"How? My pants are up!" Eggman said, indignantly.
"Is d'here a man in yer life, Eggy?" Oelc asked, "A short one?"
"Yes!" Eggman declared, "I told you this already, his name is Shadow and he's my arch nemesis! Do you know what his weakness is, by any chance?"
"Nah, but it look like he be pregnant, mon!" Oelc declared.
"Are you even trying?" Eggman sighed.
"Ya, mon. Lis'en, d'hough. I think I see some negative energies flowing your way by people you be considerin' inferior, Eggy. Maybe an inept helper or som'in, mon," Oelc suggested.
"Or maybe an inept psychic!" Eggman quipped, "Are you going to help me or what?"
"I t'ink it may hafta do wit' chur diet, mon!" Oelc declared.
"And I t'ink it may hafta do wit' your idiocy! Are you going to tell me what to do or am I going to have to sit here until sunrise?" Eggman shouted.
"In honest opinion, Eggy, I t'ink you need to change your outlook on y'erself! Maybe get a new hairstyle or a new outfit or s'met'ing!" Oelc announced.
"A new outfit?" Eggman pondered, "Maybe it is time I do something with myself!"
"D'hat's da spirit, Eggy! T'ank you and call Ms. Oelc again!" she advised as she hung up.
"Pathetically easy advice at a price I know I'm not going to like," Eggman quipped, "May as well check out my closet!" He then walked into his bedroom and threw open the mechanized door and examined what was inside. Black dress pants with the stretchy waist, white and yellow shirts, red lab coats and white gloves. "Hmm… I think it's time for some diversity here!" So the tall, balding man hopping into his hover craft and took to the skies. He landed in front of his favorite clothing store and walked inside. The cashier took notice instantly.
"Dr. Eggman! It's so nice to see you! More black stretchy dress pants?" the young man asked.
"Not this time, Douglas! I'm here for something different!" Eggman declared, "I think it's time I start feeling like a new man!"
"Okay!" Douglas said excitedly, "I have just the thing for you, doctor!" Douglas then led him to the back and handed Eggman a white disco suit, "Try this out!"
"If it's what you suggest," Eggman conceded and went into the dressing room, and came out looking like something out of the 60's, "How do I look?"
"Lookin' smooth, doc!" Douglas declared, "Not bad!"
"Now, do you, by chance, have any wigs? Something that matches my mustache!" Eggman declared.
"You bet we do!" Douglas affirmed him and handed him an orange wig that fit as if it was Eggman's own hair! "Beautiful!" Douglas declared.
"Thank you for your assistance, as always," Eggman said, paying the balance due and he flew off in his machine, laughing, "Yes! Eggman-time to hit the town!" He then happened to see a small nightclub and decided that it looked like a good way to show off his new image-rather than an evil dictator without taste, he would become a tasteless disco dancer, like his father before him, and his father before him and…
He landed in the parking spot, making sure that he took up half of the space next to him like certain jerks do in all parking lots, and he hopped out of his hover craft and got his old disco-step back in check and he walked into the club. He looked around at the large crowd and looked to the dance floor and saw none other than Shadow the Hedgehog! And break-dancing, no less! "Oh no!" Eggman told himself, "If he sees me here… wait! If I'm not doing anything wrong he'll have no reason to try and trash me! Heh!"
Eggman strolled up and waved, "Hiya, Shadow!"
Shadow just about fell out of his 'spin-on-the-head' move as he looked up, "Eggman! What are you doing here?!"
"I've come to dance too! It's a healthy way to start exercising without spending a fortune on equipment!" Eggman declared.
"Uhh," Shadow stuttered and then shrugged, "Okay then. I guess if you wanna dance, I can't stop you," First, was a soft, slow song, so Eggman sat this one out, but he watched as Shadow took Fiona into his arms and led her fat body around and didn't even mind when she stepped on his foot several times.
"Curious… but I'll show him grace when they play an ol' fast one!" Eggman declared with a sinister laugh, "I'll show him the wrath of Disco Eggman!" Just then, he could have sworn he felt his wig move, but he figured it was just the AC in the building shoving it around. Just then, the song ended and a fast, up-beat song came to play, so Eggman made his way back to the dance floor and watched, at first, as Shadow and Fiona spun around and laughed all the while. "If you wanna see cool, check me out!" Eggman declared, as he started with the typical Disco "point-the-finger-into-the-air-over-and-over" dance move.
Everyone stopped and watched in awe as Eggman did moves that even a constipated wiener dog never would've done and, like a train wreck, they didn't want to stare, but they didn't look the other way. "Uhh… hey, Eggman," Shadow spoke up.
"Not now, Shadow! I'm going to show you real moves when they play 'Staying alive'!" Eggman declared.
"That's what we're scared off. Disco died like thirty years ago and was replaced with rock'n'roll," Shadow informed him.
Eggman, without stopping his ridiculous dancing display, replied, "Really?"
"Yep," Shadow told him, "Rock was then replaced with stupid teenagers and 'hip-hop' then with rap, and that's when I turned to country because it was the only constant thing,"
"Country?" Eggman asked.
"Yes, country. You gotta problem with that?" Shadow asked, still watching the fat man swing his arms around like an idiot, "Those moves are beyond lame,"
"Oh, hush!" Eggman declared, "Disco will never die!" Suddenly, the toupee on Eggman's head, shot up into a large, orange afro!
"Whoa!" Shadow gasped, "Eggman! Eggman! Your rug, man!"
"Yeah, you like it?" Eggman asked, still dancing around, oblivious to what was happening.
"Dude!" Shadow declared, "You're rug just turned into a 'fro, man!"
"An afro?" Eggman asked, still dancing, "Well, I'd love to check but for some reason, I can't quit disco dancing! Help! I'm not controlling my body!"
"It's the fro!" Fiona declared, "Ditch it!"
"I can't!" Eggman suddenly squealed, "It's burrowed into my skull! Help me!"
"That must be the legendary afro from heck!" Shadow announced, grabbing a fire axe, "Step back!"
Eggman's eyes widened in hysteria, "Be careful!" Shadow then jumped onto Eggman's shoulder and swung the axe down into the fro, but the curly orange locks nabbed the blade and sucked it in!
"Wow!" Shadow gasped, jumping back down, "Freaky thing you got there, Eggman! Hang on, we'll think of something!"
"Hurry!" Eggman exclaimed, "I'm getting hungry!"
"Look! The afro is getting bigger!" Fiona exclaimed, "Hurry, Shadow! It's absorbing disco as energy!"
"Good grief," Shadow sighed, looking around for anything he could use, "Hang on! I'll go get something to help!" he then skated off.
In the meantime, Fiona found a sledge hammer beside the club and she came back and with one mighty swung brought it into the afro! Unfortunately, this just made Eggman's head vibrate, and the hammer, too, was sucked into the hairy abyss of the fro. "Wow again!" Fiona declared, likewise backing away.
"D-d-d-d-don't do that~" Eggman moaned, his head vibrating.
"Sorry," Fiona sympathetically apologized, "I can't think of anything else. I just have strong arms, but I'm not touching that thing!"
Shadow then returned to the scene with a bag full of things, by now the club was empty except for them, "Okay, I have a couple things I figure might work," Shadow announced, taking out a wrench, "I'll try this first," He then jumped onto Eggman's shoulders, who was STILL disco-dancing, and tried to pry the afro off. "Stupid 'fro! Come off already!" Shadow declared struggling, "Fiona, you have strong arms, help me!"
The hefty female climbed onto the bar to be even with Shadow and she, too, tried to pull the evil afro off, "It's no good! The afro is eating the wrench too!"
"Help me!" Eggman pleaded, "Please! Get rid of the evil disco afro!"
"I got it," Shadow declared, taking a chainsaw out of his bag and firing it up, "Here we go!" He then viciously drove the chainsaw into the tangled orange mess, which was still growing, but it caught the blade, and stalled the chainsaw and consumed it too!
"It's no good!" Eggman exclaimed, "Think of something before it becomes too heavy for my head! I'm exhausted from all this dancing!"
Shadow desperately took out tool after tool, including cutlery, hedge clippers, a weed whacker, but time and time again, the tools were consumed into the hairy bottomless pit. Suddenly, the afro grew a mouth! "Mwa ha ha!" it laughed maniacally, "I am Discfro! Fear my power!"
"Oh no!" Fiona gasped, and suddenly a tentacle formed of hair nabbed her ankle and started dragging her towards the loomed hairy mouth!
"Fiona!" Shadow exclaimed, reaching into his bag again, "That's it, sorry, Eggman! But this calls for desperate measures!" he then took out a FLAME THROWER!
Eggman began screaming at the top of his lungs, still dancing but Discfro declared, "You think anything else will work when everything else failed too?"
"Eat this!" Shadow declared as a blazing inferno engulfed Eggman's head.
"MY HEAD!" Eggman screamed in agony, still helplessly dancing.
"Curse you, Shadow the Hedgehog! Curse you, Fiona the Hedgehog! Curse you, Eggman!" Discfro howled as he slowly burned, and fell to the floor, and Shadow finally doused Eggman's re-balded head.
Eggman panted heavily as he examined the remains of the only hair he had ever had and said, "I need a long nap," so he set off into his hover craft and went home, cursing the DiscFro, and forever swore off Disco and wigs. Later, he became interested in forming a boy band…………….. To Be Continued…?